Journey to One More

 Today I got good news and bad news. Now I feel uncertain. The good news is, I found out my blood test results regarding my PCOS. Turns out i no longer have it, which I'm so GRATEFUL for!!  The bad news is that its actually my partner with the problem, which has made sink into depression again. This sounds strange, but somehow I find this worse than me having the problems, I guess because he was my last hope that everything was at least alright with him and the problem was all mine. Its also because, when i know its my problem alone, i can try my very best to heal myself- but when it comes to healing others, it can be difficult. They have to want it too, and they have to work together on me. Some people have a very blase attitude about their health in regards to this, or they are just satisfied with the way things are, finding anything else too complicated and not worth it. But while I will say again, how absolutely grateful i am to God that i don't have PCOS anymore, I am lef...

This morning I was absolutely gutted.  Why? Because my monthly arrived today. A week late. Now, this probably wouldn't be seen as bad, because having a monthly means everything is working, right? Not when I just started to have faith that it was becoming regular- after all, I have been looking after myself better since January, eating better, sleeping well, taking my meds more seriously, cutting back on sugar- so really, my period should be improving, right? Wrong. What was worse, I had some pain in my hips during my fertile days and last week, I was getting cramps without actually bleeding-which made me think, what if, just want if: I'd finally done it, it had worked out? After all, I'd been feeling so positive since January, until yesterday, surely that has some effect? But no, fate decided to play with me again- just when I thought i had gotten everything right this time, fate was going to swipe the mat from underneath my feet in a 'haha, only kidding, you're not...

Here I'll be making a list of things which have helped me personally or not; and new things I'm trying. NOTE: THESE ARE THINGS WHICH HAVE WORKED/HWVENT WORKED FOR ME PERSONALLY, I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL.  1. Things which have personally helped me and new things I'm trying: Herbs : I am an advocate of natural remedies generally, as I find they've helped me the most: enough sleep, exercise, relaxation, positivity and a healthy diet- although for the last one it's better to consult a specialist as well. Growing up in Bulgaria and constantly getting Ill as a child, I was given a lot of natural remedies.  The first couple of times I got pregnant was natural: no medication, only healthy diet, enough sleep, holiday spent in the sun and some herbs for PCOS I was able to acquire in Bulgaria. The first time, I had cut out sugar for a few months, ate a lot of yogurt, had a relaxing summer holiday by the sea, went to the St Michael monastery on the Island of Thassos. The second ...

Like a lot of women in today's age, I too was diagnosed with PCOS. This was in 2010, 3 years after my marriage, and explained my irregular periods and inability to conceive. But a few months after my diagnosis, when we were in chaos thinking and worrying about different treatment methods for our problem, God blessed us with a healthy pregnancy and baby.  However, 2nd time round it still wasn't easy; first of all I had to abstain from trying again for a while because I'd given birth via csection, and it seemed my PCOS had gotten stronger- unlike with some women with fertility issues, who seem to have no problems getting pregnant a 2nd or more times. I believe there were a few causes behind my stronger PCOs and infertility: Anger (why me?) Stress and worry over being unable to get pregnant a 2nd time, even after having used a fertility monitor, which the GP advised wasn't good as it was a stressful methods. Not spending enough time trying to conceive for a while- again, p...